Moving To Madrid

Good evening to you all from my hometown, Madrid. I recently made a pretty bold decision that was rather out of character for me. Let me explain… anyone who knows me knows how much of a planner I am. I keep a schedule like it’s my religion and I rarely ever veer from it. Spontaneity is not for me. I like to know what I am doing and where I am going. But despite all this, the last few months I have felt an urge, no, a need, to do something completely out of character for me. I have wanted to commit to spending a few months Madrid. Part of the reason for this has to do with what I consider to be interesting and exciting changes in the film and TV industry. As the world continues to become more and more connected and global so does the entertainment we consume. Some of my favorite shows at the moment are coming out of Spain (If you haven’t seen Cable Girls you need to stop reading this now and go watch it). So I wanted to spend some time out here to learn about the industry and experience it for myself. On a deeper level, I wanted to connect to my roots. I haven’t lived in Madrid since I was a baby and even though I have visited family here many times over the years, living here on my own for the first time as an adult is an entirely new and life changing experience. Identity is a strange thing and not something I think about often, but since I’ve been out here on my own I have had a lot of time to reflect. I find it interesting that back “home” in LA, I am not an Angeleno or American, I am Spanish. But when I am in Spain, I am American. I always feel slightly different, yet with a sense of belonging wherever I am. One of the most surprising but significant aspects of acting in Spain has been the training I have had to immerse myself in to perfect my Castilian accent. When I arrived in Madrid my accent reflected my experience of growing up in the States with a rich diversity of Latinos. But through my dialect training I have reconnected to my native language in a way that has been more profound than I ever imagined. Everything from the placement of ones tongue, to the breath, to the intonation, is all a part of the story of any given dialect. It’s fascinating and meaningful to learn about my heritage this way.

The scariest part for me has been coming out on my own without any real plan. Yet that has also been the biggest source of personal growth. I’ve spent more time walking, listening and thinking. I look at things with new eyes. I love my own company, but it’s hard to make time for myself at the velocity of my day to day life. It’s frightening to dive in with your eyes closed, but it’s those big leaps of faith that lead you to the most unexpected places. The only way to grow is by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new. Not being afraid to fail. Because, at the end of the day, what is failure really? It’s not making mistakes. I think failure is not growing, not learning and not taking advantage of whatever life throws at you. 

I am excited to continue to update you all on my journey out here and experiences, both big and small, as I connect this remarkable city that I am blessed to call a home.